The country was stunned by the news that armed agents of the Federal Elections Commission have made a series of raids on the residences of suspected members of an underground affinity group of young gay men.
“We believe members of the elusive Deep Throat Collective organized and conducted a conspiracy to seduce and suborn respected members of the Republican political establishment,” said Agent Ben Dover, of the crack J. Edgar Hoover Cocksuckers Task Force.
No members of the DTC have yet been apprehended, but traps are in place, according to Dover.
“The Congressional page corps and gay hustlers have long been known to be behind-the-scenes power brokers in political Washington,” explained elections analyst Gore Isadoll. “But with the outing of Rep. Chuck Foley and the resignation of Rev. Ted ‘Pay-for-gay Not Gay-for-pay’ Haggard, this phenomenon has jumped onto the national radar screen.”
Haggard responded to UV’s repeated requests for comment with the terse one-liner, “I did cum, but there was no Second Coming.”
President Bush denounced the plot as “the Classic Honey Pot Trap with a Twist,” and vowed to take the case to the Supreme Court. “I think men running around in dresses are the right folks to dispose of this case,” said the President.
Our presence will remind holiday shoppers there
will never be peace in Bethlehem while Palestinians are living under Israeli
military occupation. We will gather at the southwest entrance to Union Square,
Geary and Powell Streets, San Francisco. Please tell your family and friends, as
we would like as many people as possible to join us. Please bring a candle.
For more information, please email: email@example.com
Sponsored by: Community Action for Peace and Justice in the Middle East, Friends of Deir Ibzi’a, Bay Area Women In Black, SF Women in Black, Middle East Children's Alliance, Women's International League for Peace and Freedom.
Hundreds of thousands of people (or as BBC reported, thousands) poured into the streets of central Beirut Friday, December 1, to demand the resignation of prime minister Fouad Siniora and his cabinet. The protests continued on December 2, and people have put up tents. They are critical of the way the government yielded to u.s. pressures during the israeli invasion, and the government’s failure to address the needs in southern Lebanon following the troop withdrawal. They are demanding an inclusive unified government that deals with the needs of the people.
For on the scene updates on the situation in Lebanon, see http://happening-here.blogspot.com/.